you never came back

ph: impure hair(raisat shaa)

We met in Paris. So many looks before you finally invited me for a drink. We laughed while listening to music, surround by the city light, red wine and the moon and the stars. I was so nervous, so happy…

Somehow we made it to the Seine we were lining forehead to forehead, you made fun of me because I couldn’t stop sighing, and then you held my hand. We kissed on the riverbank, the moon was shining, Paris was shining, and I was flying.

It was the best year of my life, the Eiffel tower watched us, as we walked through the street hand in hand, endless walks… If we weren’t walking we were tangled between white sheets. The Eiffel tower could still watch us through your window, endless kisses, and movies, and bubble baths…

I always knew it was bound to end, we came from different parts of the world, and at the end of the year we had to take our different ways… But fate got in the way. You had to leave before expected, your father was sick. After our last night together in Paris, I said goodbye to you on the balcony, covered with sheets and tears. You only looked back once.

I followed you to your country, even if I was in a different state. We did the whole long distance relationship thing, and then your Dad died… He died and you changed, and I tried to be there for you, I would have been there for you no matter what. Until we had that stupid fight, and you didn’t call me back. For a day, and then a week. Two month passed. I chose to cry instead of loosing my pride, so I didn’t call you once. Until I couldn’t be strong any longer, I had to know why you left me, I had to now why you disappeared. I called you in tears, and you said you were sorry, you lost someone so important and you couldn’t handle anything else. You said sorry again for months. We talked many times. But I knew, I had lost you, actually, I think you were never mine. Maybe I ‘never had you.

It’s been 5 years. Our entire relationship only lasted two. We are not in touch anymore. Now you are engaged. I found someone that is nothing like you. I’ve been trying to forget you, but I still remember you every day, every sad song, every romantic movie, I remember Paris every day. And I hate you. I hate you because you never came back for me, you never gave me a last kiss. You never fought for me.