je t'aime ♥

unknown + Alana Davis

i am so proud

Le Portillon

This letter was written for me by my boyfriend before I left to study in Rome.*

To my dearest itialianest bean,

Where do I begin? You know it’s hard for me to write my feelings down or even put them into words but ill try for the bean. You are the love of my life baby. I have never ever felt the way I feel about you for anyone else and I really mean it. I have never wanted to make anyone as happy as I want to make you. I would literally do anything for you to be happy. You make my life so much better baby, we have so much fun together. With the others I have dated I would look at a trip like this as a total relief and an escape from all the bullshit. But with you I see it as literally a piece of me leaving for 5 weeks. I have never felt that way about anyone. I always want to be near you and with you and never get sick of you. I am so excited for you to go off and experience Italy and eat awesome food and meet awesome people. I hope you have the most amazing time, I’m really happy you are doing this. I want you to know that I will be thinking about you every second of the day wishing I could hold you in my arms and kiss you. You make me so happy baby and everything I do, I do with you in my mind because you are such an important part of my life. My heart and everything I am belongs to you and only you baby. I promise to send you emails updating you on what I did during the day and I can’t wait to hear how you spend your days and crazy evenings there. I’ll punch any guy that looks at you. J you are the sexiest most beautiful thing in my life and I am so proud to call you my girlfriend and the love of my life.

With all the love I could ever possibly give,

p.s. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

p.p.s you are so f'ing cute it kills me

p.p.p.s you complete me (sike nah, but really if Jerry McGuire hadn’t used it I def would have thought of it and used it on you)

* reader submission

love is...

olive manna

what's broken so I can fix it

Olle Eriksson

My story starts like a million others - girl gets her heart broken at a young age, stops believing in love, meets guy who makes her change and open up. But unlike a million other stories, mine doesn't have a happy ending.

I signed up to a dating website when I was bored. It was just out of curiosity at first and to meet new people, since I love to travel. Until one day this guy comes up as a suggestion. A quick look at his profile and I immediately decided to congratulate him for such a well written about me section. And so it all started. Long messages being exchanged every single day. Confessions, complaints, all the things you would talk to a friend, we wrote to each other. We became friends, but something was growing inside me, a weird, unsettling feeling, but I decided to shrug and let it go. Until the day I drunkenly decided to tell you everything - all my feelings and thoughts. And to my surprise you said you felt the same and when you did so... oh, it was like a breath of fresh air. I finally felt happy after so many years of faking smiles and trying to drag myself through life. My heart filled with hope.
And when I thought I couldn't be happier, you said you were coming to my country to visit me. My insecurities took me by storm and I started to think that it was to good to be true. That such a good looking guy would never want a girl like me.
But you came, and I reunited all the courage I could to meet you, and when I first saw you I knew I had found someone worth fighting for. I knew that it would be worth all the heartache, the distance and the insecurities.

My life became you. I would go out and think about you all the time, always wishing you were here. I would dream about you. I would thinking of you so much that it started to frighten me.

After you left I was such a mess that I decided that for the first time I had to go after someone. And so I did. I flew all the way to your country so I could see you again. And for some reason, everything was so fucked up. You met me once and then ignored me, ran away from me, and words can't explain how painful it was, how broken my heart was. I would walk around the streets of that foreign and unknown country trying to find reasons for all that, trying to fool myself into thinking you were just too busy to meet me, that I came at the wrong time. I had to fool myself, otherwise I wouldn't be able to take it. I would just... break.

After many attempts to contact you, you finally responded. We had dinner. And then all of a sudden you said you wanted me to be your girlfriend. At first I thought it was a joke, because it was too good to be true, way too good. But you said it again later that night, and I remember going back to my hotel with the biggest smile on my face. That was the only day when I was truly happy. I made plans to move to your country, or to a country nearby so we could be closer and give us a shot. But then you ignored me again after that, and I was left puzzled. I had to come back home broken hearted, lost, without knowing what to do.

Ever since that day you were never the same, we were never the same, and I wonder what went wrong. There isn't a day that goes by without me thinking of you, longing for you. The sadness I felt before meeting you came back. And even though you broke my heart so many times, I would still do whatever I can to be closer to you, to be with you. I want the truth, I want your honesty back. I wish you would just tell me how you're feeling so I can stop torturing myself. Because I want you, I want us. I want me there with you, or you here. I want to cross streets holding hands, have dinners, watch old movies and walk around town. I want adventures, drunken nights. I want happiness. I want you, only you.

I want to know what's broken so I can fix it, because I can't imagine myself living a life without you.

Jeg savner dig...

-jcm

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y

I'M TWENTY-TWO TODAY....AND I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE. AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT COMES NEXT.

BUT FOR NOW- I'M OFF TO THE GRAND CANYON TO CELEBRATE, SEE YOU SOON HOMIES!

feel what i am thinking

Maddie Joyce + unknown

he will tell me it's true

ph: unknown

Dear Mr.,

You have been my greatest. My fear is that no one will ever be what you are to me, today i had to make a decision. I could no longer live in limbo, I could no longer live without you and with you all at the same time, i could not think of everyone else who has you when I'm not there or that you might avoid me the next day after loving me the night before.

You are incredible and a man who will achieve all and know no boundaries, I am drawn to your soul like it was made to light mine up but i know that you can't be it. Even though you were my Mr., you can't be him because my soul mate will feel it too,

but he will tell me it's true.

love Ally x

you got me smiling in my sleep

weheartit

what are you still doing here?

weheartit

Dear You.

I had a brutal crush on you but I said to myself I wouldn't do anything about it. When I heard about you and another girl though, I thought it's now or never. So I simply walked to where you were and since then there has only been you.

You make me laugh so much and you awakens every butterfly in me. You whisper sweet words in my ear and I want to hug you all the time and you tell me you want me to. You giggle when I give you a thousand kisses all over your face and I remember you said I'm the prettiest girl in town. I don't think about what's happening or will happen, I'm just enjoying every moment with you.

But in every relationship we have - with girls, boys, friends - sooner or later we argue. And suddenly it all feels so fragile.

What will happen now?
How much does he like me?
Will this end what's between us?
Wow, there's so many things I still don't know about him.
Will he hurt me?
Will he say things that makes me cry?
If I stay now, will he take me in his arms if I get sad?
If I go now, will he call me tomorrow?
Gosh, WHY do I have to be so emotional?
Does he think I'm too sensitive?
Is this about what he said about things going so fast?
Wait - it was "so fast", not "too fast", right? Damn. I can't remember.
What does he want me to say when he tells me that?
But if he meant it in a bad way, why would he also tell me he doesn't want to be with anyone else?
I hope that part wont change now when we argue.
Is he as scared of all those feelings as I am?
I wish I was a mindreader.
What was we even arguing about?
Oh, I remember. Are we really having an argue about that?
Well, I guess this learns us that both are really stubborn.
I don't want him over there. I want him to be closer.
Will he reject me if I ask for a kiss instead of talking about whatever we think different about?

I really want you. I really like you. But I don't tell you that tonight. Instead I'm doing what I know is wrong - I'm walking away, I'm going home. Because even if we're having an incredible time, I don't really know you and your thoughts and if you think "us" is happening too fast instead of so fast, I don't want to hear it tonight. Each day I want to have you one more day so me liking you as much as I do is really freaking me out.

And to all of you whose hearts are aching by liking someone and not doing anything about it - what are you still doing here? Go tell them, go take a shot, go fall in love!
Sometimes you have to give life a push and hope that it's the right time and place and that both are ready for what may come. The worst thing that can happen isn't even that bad - if he/she doesn't feel the same at least you will feel awesome about telling them how special they are.
But if everything goes well, it can be amazing.

Remember though - your heart will ache anyway, because you're so scared to screw it all up and the feeling you get by the thought of losing something great is almost as awful as not having it at all.

Lots of love to all of you!

-tsf.

let's be adventurers

Eleven Paris + weheartit

E X M A C H I N A

DISCLAIMER: I AM THE WORST BLOGGER OF ALL TIME. MY PROBLEM IS, NOTHING STANDS IN THE WAY OF ME HAVING A GREAT TIME. EVER. (I AM TOLD THIS IS BOTH ENDEARING AND INFURIATING) IF I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING AMAZING, IT TAKES UP ALL MY TIME AND ENERGY AND BEFORE I GET TO TALK ABOUT IT I'M USUALLY ONTO THE NEXT THING AND IF I'M NOT? WELL. ONE HUNDRED TIMES OVER, I'D MUCH RATHER ENJOY WHATEVER IT IS I'M DOING THAN SIT DOWN AND WRITE ABOUT IT. APOLOGIES! BUT I DO HAVE HEAPS OF NEW THINGS TO SHOW YOU, LIKE COACHELLA, FASHION WEEK AND NYC BUT TIME SEEMS TO HAVE ELUDED ME THIS PAST MONTH AND I'M NOT GOOD AT BACK TRACKING. IE. I'M KINDA E-LAZY! SO I'LL START HERE, AND THEN BACK TRACK ON MY NEXT FEW POSTS! OKAY? OKAY!  THESE WERE TAKEN LAST WEEK IN CANGGU, BALI BY MY FRIEND DUSTIN HUMPHREY, WHO'S IN CHARGE OF DEUS EX MACHINA (LOOK IT UP) IN THE BIG OL' ASIA PACIFIC. THE DEUS STORE IN BALI IS ONE BIG MULTI-GENERATIONAL HANGOUT OF COOL PEOPLE ON TWO WHEELS. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR!

SINGLET BY BONDS. BRA BY CALVIN KLEIN. SHORTS AND BELT BY F.O.M. BIKE BY DEUS,

SHOT BY DUSTIN HUMPHREY

sweet dreams darling

unknown

One morning i woke up and i saw that i had got text message at 02:29 am.
It was from my boyfriend.

"I just love everything in you.
Every time you laugh or smile
I melt inside.
When i can be with you
i'm the happiest guy in the world.
What i am trying to say,
you mean the world to me
and i love you from bottom of my heart.
I'm sorry for all my mistakes and that i have been jerk.
Three words eight letters.
That means i love you.
I hope that i didn't wake you up.
Sweet dreams darling."

-anon

you are the sunshine

weheartit + weheartit

I will always love you

unknown

I'm writing you this letter because I can't do this anymore. I love you so much. I miss you everyday. I've been wondering if you've been thinking about me... will you ever want me again? will you every love me again like you did? These are questions I ask myself over and over again, but they're questions that will never be answered at this point. I can't keep wondering anymore. It's not fair that you've moved on and I have been stuck in the same spot, afraid to move. I know I'm doing it to myself, I have been for far too long. Even though the thought of not speaking to you scares me, I have to do it for myself. I can't be your friend and act like I'm okay when I'm not just for the sake of still having you in my life... You used to tell me you would never get over me, that you could see yourself with me for a very long time. If those feelings were strong and true then they must still be in you and maybe one day you'll be able to express them again. But I have to stop thinking about how it was with you because its gone.. I feel like a fool for holding on this long. Am I a fool? Or a person who is just truly in love? I have to let you go H.. I've been avoiding this for four months and I know I could probably keep it up for a long time but I need to be strong and take this stand... Thank you for being one of the greatest things that came into my life. Thank you for teaching me so much about myself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I can never hate you because I know that everything you did was out of love, but I hate that it had to end. I even hate that I can't wish or hope you will come back to me anymore. Talking to you and seeing you will just set me back no matter how much I tell myself it won't.
I miss you so much & I always will.
I hope you accomplish every goal you set for yourself, I hope you figure out everything you were unsure about, and I hope above all that you are happy.
I wish I could be there to see it all happen.
But the reality is, you left me
& now its time for me to let go.

I will always love you,
L

i hope i don't fall in love

weheartit + ffffound

hope

leilajay

I was the exception. For years we've been best friends.. We once went 8 months without speaking because I confessed I had feelings for you and you were too afraid to admit yours.. What did I do? I hoped. I'd pass by you in school and we'd be complete strangers. How can two people who know so much about each other pretend they don't know each other at all? But still, I hoped. You made me cry and feel horrible about myself because I felt that I was holding on to something that was long gone... Yet still, I hoped. I held on to the memories, I held on to the sound of your laughter and the look you get just before you laugh.. I held on to all of that and I hoped for a miracle. Even if we were just friends, I hoped for that. Just when I was going to give up, I worked up the courage to ask you why.. And you told me you didn't understand why I still held on.. You didn't understand why I wouldn't just give up... And I told you.. I don't give up on people I love.. Even if I'm the last one standing, I would not give up on you. Ever...

We started talking again in February.. and it was different.. It was almost too good to be true.. My best friend asked me what spell I put on you.. I couldn't believe it because suddenly, you were at my doorstep at night when I was having a bad day.. When my phone would light up I knew.. I just knew it was you.. Everything was great.. but we were still just friends. Friends.. and the sad thing is, I know he loves me.. I know he has always loved me. I introduced him to my mother and when we were in the car she told me that he loves me. She just knew.. She felt it. Tell me, why wouldn't he tell me? Why wouldn't he open up? But I was patient.. Whatever, he's what I wanted.. I had my best friend back..

I guess what I'm trying to say is.. even when life give's you every reason to give up, remind yourself of the reasons you're still standing.. Yes, sometimes it's hard to stand up for someone who doesn't love you back.. But love is blind. Love is unconditional.. Actually, what is love? It's not something we feel in our heart or something we contemplate or try to understand in our brains.. It's the energy between two people.. That's love. Love is food! Love is family.. Love is friendship.. And that's what we need to stand up for.. We sit and complain about how life isn't fair and how we might never find love.. But we forget the most important thing: Everything turns out okay in the end.. If it's not okay, it's not the end. So what if the love of your life won't talk to you? So what? You can cry and you can worry but that won't make him see you for YOU. You are your best when you are HAPPY. Forget about them.. Forget and live to the fullest.. Find something you LOVE. And when they realize what they've lost, they'll come back... DON'T play "hard to get" unless you know deep down you really don't want them anymore. If they come back, accept them.. or forever regret what could have been..

I held on.. I never let go and I never gave up on him.. But I didn't let that keep me from living my life.. There were days when I felt like I couldn't get through, but I picked myself up and I smiled. And I got the love in the end.. I know he loves me.. and he has told me so.. He has finally FINALLY faced his fear of accepting what he feels.

My last note.. If you are afraid of showing someone how you feel, don't be.. Honestly, what's the worst that could happen? We are still at the beginning of our lives, there is so much more for us to live for! Life goes on.. Don't let fear hold you back and keep HOPING. Hope got me through the roughest times of my life.. And it will get me through all the others that are bound to come my way.. Don't be a coward, either.. Fear is merely a feeling, cowardice is a choice of action. Be the best you can be, and don't do things you might be ashamed of to live life with no regrets.

with love,
a simple teen.

the more i see you

weheartit + paper owls

please let me go.

unknown

It's been 3 years. The first time I saw you was when we both walked out of our doors at the same time. You went down the stairs first and my puppy went running after you (she has always liked you for some reason). You let her out and she took off down the sidewalk. We both ran after her but I was faster. You made a comment about how you ran track in college and how did I beat you?? It was very obvious we both had a crush from that first meeting. Several weeks later I saw you at a party. We finally talked and I learned your name. You told me you were in a band- you told me the name and I had never heard of it. Later we went to your apt and you played a song for me- it was a song I had heard on the radio lately that touched me in a place a song hadn't touched me in a long time- and this whole time I had no idea it was you. I couldn't believe this was your song. We listened and sat in silence until it was over- then I walked over to you and we had our first, amazing kiss. You played the guitar and sang for me all night and we talked and had the best night together.

Weeks later you had a concert- I went. I ran into a girl I had met once and asked what she was doing there. She said watching her boyfriend. I asked who her boyfriend was (never thinking it would have been you). It was. My heart dropped. I saw you after the concert and asked you about it- you said you had just gotten back together with her and it was confusing. You continued texting me. Kept telling me it wasn't working out with her- and for some reason I continued to see you every time you came in town. You broke up with her. You got back with her. Broke up. Got back with her again. In all this I continued to see you for some crazy reason. I had never done anything like that in my life before but you made it feel like if I would just be patient, and wait, it would work out. How did I (the nice girl from the Midwest) turn into the "other girl"? This wasn't me. But I did it.

It has now been almost 3 years- I am still in love with you for some crazy reason. We have something I have never felt with anyone- my heart beats when you're around, I feel high when I leave you. Not two months have gone by when I haven't seen you in almost 3 years- but still we're not together. You tell me everything- about your family, your secrets, your fears. Do you know how many times I have wanted to tell you I love you but am scared? I keep thinking I will find this with someone else. It doesn't happen. No one compares. You have come a long way in the last 3 years. You have changed a little but when its just you and me you're still the same. You tell me I am comforting and you feel so warm when you're around me. You think about me all the time, the way my skin feels and my lips. I think about every. single. day.

You are now broke up with her for the final time- and I really do believe you this time. But why do I have the feeling you will have a new girlfriend (not me) in no time? I really want to get over you. I truly do. And I have come very close- but then you always pop back in like you did last week. It's like you can feel it. Sometimes I feel like the only way is to move away..I feel like quitting you would be similar to quitting heroin. I think its time for you to finally leave me alone. Let me move on because this isn't fair to me. You know how much I care and if you don't feel the same please let me go.

I am begging you.

we can make this last

b. vaughn + unknown

i never thought...

weheartit

I never thought I could ache with hurt while laughing out loud to our inside jokes

I never thought I'd imagine slapping your face yet desperately yearn for another embrace

I never thought I'd brush your arm while walking alongside you and be happy over that little

I never thought I'd be warm in the May sun and be chilled to the bone by your indifference

I never thought I'd be alone with you in an elevator but feel like I'm with a stranger
in a foreign land

I never thought I'd be asked to leave where I was once begged and stalled to stay

I never thought I'd be waiting for you to get here instead of planning our separate arrivals

I never thought I'd end up with nothing after careful months of hiding everything


Here I am, one passionate, dramatic, tiring, exciting, extravagant, boring,
predictable, spontaneous, chaotic, secretive, on-and-off year later, marked
by two break-ups connected by one make-up- all "my fault" and your choices.

In many ways you are my biggest Regret.

A year ago... you were my rebound and saving Grace,
Six months ago... you were my boyfriend again after cowardly making yourself an Ex,
Three months ago.. you reluctantly chose your final breakup on my birthday.

The only gift I got from you was freedom from the gray, lonely, confusing
state of Purgatory you tried to keep our relationship in.

Now...you are only my Boss

I ALWAYS thought I'd tell everyone that told me so, "You told me so"

And yet...

I NEVER thought I'd miss someone I saw everyday.

-anonymous

which do you believe?

photos: weheartit

torn between two

weheartit

I will be 25 in May and until now I have never had a serious relationship with a guy in person, but that does not mean that I've never been in love. You see, I was born with a progressive disability that has led me to live the rest of my life in a wheelchair. For the longest time I have been struggling with self-acceptance and my own insecurities. I didn't believe that anyone would ever want to be with me or dare to love me because of my disability. My experiences with love had only proved me right. No guy wanted to be with me. Maybe they were afraid because they didn't know how to be with someone like me. I've tried online dating sites and even agreed to meet a few of them in person. Each of them were the same — liked me for my personality, before they knew about my physical disability, but had a change of heart once they've found out. None of them could see a future with me and, instead of trying, they chose to turn the other way. These moments of rejection were the hardest to pick myself back up from because I was already insecure. How could people be so shallow? So superficial? I felt hopeless and alone. I didn't believe that anyone would want me. Would I even want myself? I understood where these guys were coming from. Maybe I would have done the same if the tables were turned. But I also realized that they didn't deserve me and I didn't want them. I want someone who can see the person that I am first, and not my disability or my wheelchair. I want someone who will encourage and inspire me throughout life, and not place doubts in my mind or bring me down. There are enough people in this world who have less expectations of me, and I do not need them in my life to tell me that things are impossible without even giving me a chance. Honestly, it's always nice to have someone to love and enjoy life with, but I rather be on my own than to be with someone who can't see the person that I am — me.

And just when I had lost all hope in love...

Two years ago from now, I had met "Texas" through a videogame and fell in love unexpectedly. I remember feeling hesitant about it because it would be too complicated, but things had happened too fast and before I knew it we were both emotionally involved. We've texted and talked on the phone everyday, only falling more in love with each other. He has become one of the most important people in my life and the only one who can make me feel the way I do when I'm with him. As cliche as it sounds, I really can't imagine my life without him anymore and can see a future with him. I couldn't tell him though. Not yet. I've felt guilty everyday for not telling him the whole truth about me, but I was afraid to lose him. I just needed time — the right time — to finally tell him and be prepared for the consequences. That day finally came after almost two years. I don't know what had compelled me to tell him, but I could feel my whole heart on the line as the words came out. He didn't take it too well. He freaked out and wanted space to register what I had just told him. He had felt misled and lied to, and I couldn't blame him because it was true. At that very moment I had thought that I lost him for good. That everything that we had between us was suddenly gone. We had plans to meet, live together, get married and have kids. He said that it changes everything about our future. I was bombarded with questions that I couldn't even answer myself: Could I have kids? Would it be passed down to our kids? How will I take care of him when he's sick? I began to feel as if I carried a fatal disease with his reaction. I didn't like how low it made me feel and I wasn't going to let it continue to keep me down. After spending that night in endless tears, I woke up with a new perspective and decided that, if he couldn't see the person that I am beyond my physical disability, then I don't want him anymore. I knew that it only meant that he wasn't the right one for me. But it only took him a day until he had contacted me again. We were on the phone and I listened to him cry. He told me that he was very upset with me for being dishonest with him during all this time, but that he had talked with his sister and she had made him realize how happy I made him. He told me that he's never been this happy with anyone. That he still cares about me and loves me. He cried because he didn't know how long I would live considering my condition and didn't want to grow old alone, but also didn't want to be with anyone else. In the end, we decided to continue with our relationship because we still love each other. We'll just take it one step at a time — wait until we both graduate from college, try living together to see if we'll still work, and then marry. It was a reasonable solution. Unlike the other guys that I've met, he was willing to try and give us a chance. And I wasn't ready to lose him so I agreed.

But there's a twist...

I was home-schooled during my sophomore year in high school due to health issues so I spent most of my time on the computer playing games and socializing through chatrooms. That is when I met "Connecticut". I don't remember exactly how it happened, but we ended up "dating". He was the first guy that I had ever felt what I thought was "love" at the time, but we were both young and took each other for granted. Eventually we had broken up and lost contact. It took me a very long time to get over him and I never fully did. It definitely got easier as time passed, but I still thought about him from time to time and thought about getting back in touch again. We ended up finding each other on Myspace and Facebook over the years, getting in and out of contact with each other. I remembered the first time we had reunited on Myspace, I knew that we both still had feelings for each other because we would casually flirt through our comments to each other. But as soon as I felt myself falling for him again, I deleted him and told myself to never look back. After a few years, I found him on Facebook and felt that I was in a position to be friends with him again if he wanted to. It's been years and I was in love with "Texas". I knew it was safe. He accepted my friend request and we began chatting which led to us exchanging phone numbers and texting. It was completely platonic for me. Although I still cared for him, I only thought of him as a friend.

Or so I had thought...

As the days passed, he became more open about his feelings for me and confessed that he never stopped thinking about me. All of those years apart he had wanted to contact me, but was afraid that I hated him for some reason. I made it clear that I was in a relationship with someone and that I was in love. He wasn't going to give up easily though. At first, he wanted to wait and, as selfish as it sounds, hoped for "Texas" and I to break up. After awhile, he decided that he wanted to be with me even while I was still in a relationship with "Texas" because it was better than not having me at all. I admit — "Connecticut" said all the right things, showed more interest in me, and expressed his affection for me so easily — things that I've wanted to hear/see from "Texas". But both of them are different. "Texas" just isn't the type to express his affections the way "Connecticut" does. He does it differently and I'm learning that it's okay. Not everyone will love you the way you want them to. It doesn't mean that they love you any less. But my feelings for "Connecticut" had grown. I found myself getting jealous whenever there were other girls talking to him and missing him whenever we didn't talk. I love "Texas", but I like "Connecticut". I could see myself with either one. It was just a matter of who would be the one to love me for who I am — accept the whole package.

I told "Connecticut" about my disability. Surprisingly, he took it well. He didn't care that I was in a wheelchair. He didn't care what I had because it didn't change the way he feels about me. I was shocked with his reaction. It was unexpected and hard to believe. I mean, how could it not affect him? Why was his reaction so different from "Texas"? From all of the other guys that I've met? Maybe he's still oblivious. Maybe he needs to see me in person to fully understand what he's getting himself into. Or maybe he's just open-minded. Maybe he's the right one for me. He had even said that he didn't care if we couldn't have kids. He just wanted me. He's passionate about me.

So, there you have it. All of my life I had been alone and now I am torn between two guys. I know that I have stronger feelings for "Texas". I love him with all of me. I can feel it every time that I am with him. But I think that I am falling for "Connecticut" too. Is it even possible to love two people at once? I've decided that I'd wait until I meet both of them in person. I think that's the only way I'll know who truly accepts me and will love me for me. I can see a future with both. I just hope that I don't end up losing both in the end.

I love "Texas", but what if "Connecticut" is a better guy for me

i am yours to keep

bunnyjennyy + wehearit

keep coming back to you

unknown

Sometimes people ask me why I like you but I never feel like explaining everything with us. And when I do try, it never comes out right so I can't blame them for not understanding.

We've never been together, the closest we've had is a one night hook-up, completely sober, just because we wanted to. And that was over a year ago. I just keep coming back to you.

We met the first month of freshman year on a Thursday night when you came back drunk and I was studying. We got to talking and exchanged numbers and I gave you no further thought. The boy who I liked had just broken my heart and I went home for the weekend, even though you drunkenly told me I should stay. That Sunday I texted you with full intentions of getting help for my music class but we ended up talking until 4 in the morning about everything. We talked about everything; heartbreaks, friendships, family, and then stuff that was much deeper, that nobody really knew about us. Maybe it was the anonymity of it all, we barely knew each other and it was so easy to just keep talking. But both of us knew that that night wasn't normal and there was a weird comfortableness that we never discussed. We would see each other in the downstairs lobby from time to time but only occasionally would we be alone enough to talk like that first night. I had a massive crush that was like being on a roller coaster; one look from you and I was happy the whole day but I often saw you talking to other girls which was enough to drive me crazy. You were too cool to care and while I hid it well, I was hopelessly nuts about you.

The heartbreaker reentered my life and my crush was on the backburner for awhile. And you noticed that I wasn't around as much. You mentioned that you didn't like the guy to my roommate but I knew it was in a friend way and nothing more like I so desperately wanted. But right before winter break, we went driving. We talked like that first night and we felt that connection. We hooked up and I was foolish in thinking I wouldn't fall for him but I did. But we were away for a month and a lot changes in a month.

By the time we got back, you had a girlfriend and my best guy friend in the dorm had fallen for me. And as unlikely as I thought it could be, I fell for him too. You were no longer on my mind as I got caught up in this amazing guy. He was perfect by all standards. He was brilliant, romantic, sensitive and treated me better than I thought possible. But you started to creep in. I wanted to text you but repressed the thoughts. I didn't talk to you when I saw you and for the longest time, we had our significant others and didn't think of each other. But one night over summer, you chatted me, drunk of course, about how angry you were when I started dating the other guy. You said that even though you had your girlfriend and I had my boyfriend, that I couldn't deny that we had a connection. I couldn't deny it but I lied.

The next year came and with time, both of us broke up with our significant others. We had late night talks in the library, mostly you helping me get over my relationship. We run into each other and randomly hang out and then go our separate ways. I want to text you but our lives have gone different directions. I feel like we had a small margin of time to get it right and I know that we missed it. But I keep coming back to thoughts of you.