fix or ruin

weheartit

because i love you

weheartit

I remember that day in bed when my ear was pressed against his chest; his heart beat was beating loudly in that perfect body of his and his vibrating voice echoed through. I could feel it too. I counted that he had 23 birthmarks on his stomach, tracing them with the tip of my fingers. We talked for a long time in that position, talked about life, music, love, our love, him, me, us, everything.

We noticed that the sun had gone down and decided to grab something to eat. We raided the fridge, eating with our fingers in our underwear on the kitchen floor. He started playing on his acoustic guitar, his eyes shut, making that silly face. But suddenly, he stopped.

He looked up, smiled at me and bent over to kiss me. I giggled. Then he let go of the guitar to sit closer to me so he could hug me. I asked him why he got so lovey dovey all of a sudden. He replied with another kiss and said because he loved me. I loved him too, very much, and I told him that.

We stared into each others' eyes for a long time and I could feel the tears building up behind mine.

‘’You’ve never seen me cry have you?’’ I asked.

‘’No, and I hope that I never will.’’ He replied back with a serious voice.

But he did.

The salty water just came pouring down my face while he, confused, tried to wipe them away with his thumbs and kisses.

‘’Why are you crying?’’ He asked, almost crying himself.

‘’Because I love you.’’ I hated how desperate I sounded.

‘’But why are you crying then?’’

I didn’t know how to tell him. Tell him that he was the only boy in the world that could make me feel so happy and sad at the same time, tell him how lost I feel when he’s not around, how jealous I get when I’m with him that I swear I could hurt somebody. Tell him that I’m so in love with him and the love we shared, so happy that he was the one I woke up to everyday, even though he snores fucking loud sometime. Tell him that when he talks my whole body shivers, how when he kisses me I forget to breath sometimes, how I feel like a little girl when he puts my hair behind my ears, even though I hate how I look with my hair like that. I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t understand why he loved me. So I simply replied:
‘’Because I love you.’’

i wish that...

ffffound + weheartit

how much you meant to me

bryannecarruther

The moon. I have always been drawn to it. Connected, in some inexplicable way. A silent kinship. There’s the moon, asking to stay. All my life, I’ve regarded it with a solemn reverence. For the tempestuous storm it brews. The ebb and flow. Love, lust, and longing. Sorrow and anguish. Strength and hope. Brazen resilience. An image of change. Of life itself. Birth and death and rebirth. Continuous incontinuity. Everything amounts to this enormous beauty I know I will never fully be able to grasp. In all this, the moon reflects the heart of life. The kaleidoscope flux of the soul. The moon. It’s a cause for introspection. A mirror of who I have been, and a promise of who I can become.

I changed when you came into my life. Time and experience had left me rough around the edges. I learned to get on, without needing anything or anyone else. I never wanted to be different or try and be better for any other person. But then you happened. You showed me what it was to love. How beautiful it could be to share something like that with another person. And then I wanted to be better for you all of the time. For some reason, I was never able to do it. It took losing you for me to realise what an awful person I had become by the end of our relationship. I couldn’t see it then, the way I do now. The truth is that I mistreated you. I was selfish, unreasonable, and immature. You did not deserve it. I need you to know how sorry I am for who I was. I want you to know that I know I was unfair to you, and that I regret it deeply. For as much as I loved you, I never ever should have treated you the way I did. I am so sorry. I don’t know how or why I became that person, but she isn’t someone I would recognize now.

When our relationship ended, I found myself down a passage of self-reflection, the depth of which I had never before traversed. I had to come to terms with the faults and weaknesses I began to see within me. I realised that I had neglected a lot of people in my life. I had spent most of my life unable to see anything beyond my own stupid hang ups. I was so self-involved and intent on shutting out the rest of the world, that I had failed to give those I loved what they deserved from me. I don’t think I truly understood what guilt felt like until that point.

I used to think a lot about the people I didn't have in my life anymore. Of those, there were some that the circumstances of life took from me, and others that I let fall away. It was faith that made me believe that you would never become one of those people. I had spent too much time grieving over the ones who had left, and I reminded myself to be grateful for those that remained. I always tried to make sure I appreciated your presence in my life. I guess somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that. I’ve learned too much from life to ever make that mistake again. When we were together, it was because of you that I wanted to be a better person. Throughout your absence, that sentiment remains. And I owe it to you. You were always there for me. I don’t have words to express how much you’ve taught me about love, faith, and what it means to be a good person. Thank you.

The last thing I want to tell you is how much you meant to me. I will never forget our time together. You changed my life. And if I know anything at all, it’s that what we had was real. My love for you was true. And I loved you the best way I knew how. I haven’t said it with a lot of words or any poeticism, but there it is. As honest as I can say it.

Hala

give up the ghost

piccsy

the one who lost her

weheartit

To the one that holds her heart,

This is going to sound so very cliche, but if you break her heart, I will run you over with my car. Now I’m pretty sure you have no idea who I am, but trust me I know all about you. You see, I have many friends, in many places. And I just wanted to make sure that the one who is dating the girl that I love with all my heart is in good hands. Since you have not received any threats yet, I guess you’re an alright guy.

But here’s a couple tips for you, always text her back, she gets really frustrated if you don’t. Don’t ever hang up on her without saying good-bye first, I’ve done that countless times and she gets really pissed off. She has certain days where she has to watch her shows like Pretty Little Liars and One Tree hill, make sure you don’t plan anything on those days. Surprise her, she likes them. She’s only ticklish in some spots and sometime she isn’t ticklish at all. She’s a fighter haha. And if she’s quoting Taylor Swift, either you’re in really big trouble or you’re making her happy.

And when you hug her, remember that you are hugging the most beautiful girl in the world and that you should always hug her back tighter. If she argues with her, argue back. But give in to her sometimes cause she can be a real bitch when she wants to be. Don’t hurt her, that will be the worst thing that you will ever do.

You have no idea how lucky you are to call her yours. So cherish it. You have the honor of holding her hand. You have the privilege to kiss her when you want. You have the ability to make her happy. She isn’t just another girl, she’s that girl that can make you the happiest person ever if you give her the chance. She’s worth everything. Everything. Take care of her.

Sincerely,

The one who lost her

S M O K E Y R O L L S

INTRODUCING "SMOKEY ROLLS" MY LATEST PROJECT AND DEBUT IN THE ROLE OF CREATIVE DIRECTOR, FOR AUSTRALIAN LABEL FRIEND OF MINE. FROM THE CONCEPT, TO DESIGN, TO THE FACTORY'S, STYLING, CASTING AND SHOOTING, I HAD THE PLEASURE OF WORKING WITH TEALE AND TESH TO CREATE THIS SPRING/SUMMER LINE BUILT ON OUR LOVE FOR 1970'S BOHEMIA, HARD WORK AND A TOUCH OF MY OBSESSION FOR TONGUE-IN-CHEEK STYLE. BON APPETIT!

DESIGN BY TEALE AND ALEXANDRA SPENCER

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ADAM SECORE

STYLED BY ALEXANDRA SPENCER

you said forever

unknown

i miss you like hell

weheartit

Dear best friend,

I miss you like hell. Every single day I miss you, your smile, hugs, laugh and jokes. I need you in my life like I need my sister and mom. You just have to believe it yourself, and not to mention believe in yourself. I don’t say this just because I feel like I have to, it’s because I need to, and I want you to know this. I miss you so much. And to the things that I told you last summer, I must say that it was a total mistake. I don’t love you like that. Or, I do, but I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I just want your loving friendship, our loving friendship. What really hurts me, is that you never answered, never even texted me. You could have said something, just left a text saying you were sorry that I felt like that or whatever. But the thing was, I never felt like that. I just missed you so much that I thought I loved you. I thought the feeling I got was out of love, the real love. I was so wrong, and I lost you because of it. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. They say that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Well, now I do. It kills me to see you now, the way you act around other people, around my friends and me. I don’t see anything of the old you, only a new and totally insecure you needing a real friend. I want to be that friend. I want to help you. I know this sounds really creepy, but sometimes I even dream of you. We’re friends again, everything is so good and peaceful, and I don’t even have to worry about your uptight girlfriend. Then when I wake up, I’m sadder than ever. I try so hard to fall asleep again and just picture us together laughing and feeling so safe and calm. But it’s just a dream, and I go to school and you don’t even look at me. It breaks me inside. I want what’s best for you in your life. I hope you know that. I just wish I could be a part of it.

Yours always.

we feel it before we say it

Kimberly.R

a large space in my thoughts

gabriielaserra

Why can’t I stop thinking about you? It was such a mistake. All of it… an all-consuming error in judgment that had me captivated and mesmerized by the situation. A good girl to the core, this was far beyond the everyday workings of such a responsible and trustworthy person like myself. Would it be corny to say, “you had me at hello”? - Because you did. I was drawn to you like a drug and from the first night that we spent together I was hooked. You were the perfect escape and release from the mundane aspects of reality. I would daydream about you and smile when I saw your name flash up on my phone; I would go back to the park where we met hoping to see you. It started out so innocent, the standard steps of a growing romance but then you broke my heart and made me become the other woman and in doing so you forced me to defy all the written rules of sisterhood and common decency. With this new information I tried to stay away from you and to be mature about what had happened and ignore the fact that you had used me, the fact that you had taken advantage of my naivety and my openness. But you were everywhere I looked, everywhere I went and you would reel me back in with empty promises and sweet talkings. You would tell me how beautiful I was and how you thought I was one of the most fascinating people you had ever met and so we went round in pointless and painful circles. You would hurt me and I would let you. You had even somehow let me believe that this was my idea and you were going along for the ride. To this day I still don’t know if you were right. Was it my fault? Could I have done more to prevent this? I shall spend years contemplating this. But because of you, I have grown – you took away my innocence and left me damaged. Things have been over for years, but you still obtain such a large space in my thoughts and I need closure, a concluding end to this chapter in my life that will always make me feel shame. So this is it. This is me saying goodbye to you, and that I will soon be the person I was once again. This is also me saying sorry, sorry that I let you hurt me, it wont happen again.

Lucy

J U S T L I K E A R E C O R D

I WAS SHOOTING IN A FIELD OF WILD FLOWERS YESTERDAY ON THE SUNNY BANKS OF THE VENICE CANALS WHEN I WAS SUDDENLY INSPIRED BY THE GIRL WITH FLOWERS IN HER HAIR, FROM LED ZEPPELIN'S 'GOIN TO CALIFORNIA'. I THOUGHT THESE LYRICS WERE BETTER THAN ANYTHING I COULD COME UP WITH. THIS SONG ALSO EXPLAINS WHY I'M LEAVING HOME, AND BECOMING AN AIR STEWARDESS... 

"SPENT MY DAYS WITH A WOMAN UNKIND, SMOKED MY STUFF AND DRANK ALL MY WINE.

MADE UP MY MIND TO MAKE A NEW START, GOING TO CALIFORNIA WITH AN ACHING IN MY HEART.

SOMEONE TOLD ME THERE'S A GIRL OUT THERE WITH LOVE IN HER EYES AND FLOWERS IN HER HAIR. 

TOOK MY CHANCES ON A BIG JET PLANE, NEVER LET THEM TELL YOU THAT THEY'RE ALL THE SAME. 

THE SEA WAS RED AND THE SKY WAS GREY.
WONDERED HOW TOMORROW COULD EVER FOLLOW TODAY.

THE MOUNTAINS AND THE CANYONS STARTED TO TREMBLE AND SHAKE.

AS THE CHILDREN OF THE SUN BEGAN TO WAKE".

DRESS BY FRIEND OF MINE. DAISY CHAIN D.I.Y WITH LOVE